My mum died on Saturday 20th June. As some of you know, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in December 2019. On Sunday morning (14th June) we rushed her to A&E with stomach pains and were completely blindsided to hear she had a perforation (hole) in her stomach. There was nothing that could be done. The hospital staff and palliative care team were so kind and compassionate, trying to make her as pain-free and comfortable as possible. We made sure she was never alone, taking turns to sit and sleep at the hospital. After six days, she died in her sleep.

My dad (Stephen), sister (Olivia) and I are utterly heartbroken but glad she is no longer in pain. There was no doubt or words left unsaid: she knew how much we loved her and she had time to tell us what we meant to her. Today I don't want to focus on her sudden and devastating death. I want to tell you about her life and what kind of person she was.

Her name was Marilyn.

Marilyn loved the people in her life and demonstrated her love every day. She was such a kind-hearted, caring mother to Olivia and me. She had known my dad for eleven years before they got married in 1983. Marilyn welcomed Ian and my brother-in-law Kieran not only into the family but literally into her home. Us four 'young uns' have all lived with my parents at one point or another. She was absolutely besotted with my nephew Owen. Being a grandmother brought her so much joy and we will always treasure the photos and videos of them together. We will tell him about his granny and how much she loved him from the moment she laid eyes on him.

Marilyn had a huge number of close friends, stretching back to primary school and her university days. She was a natural communicator – articulate and expressive – and put so much effort into the relationships in her life. She was a loyal and reliable friend who called and visited often. She spoke to her sister every Sunday by phone. She nurtured her friendships and sent Christmas cards and birthday cards every year without fail.

Marilyn was an intrepid world traveller and she and my dad explored the globe together. They visited six of the seven continents together (all except Australia!) and had the most fascinating, astonishing and amusing anecdotes to share. They slept in the Amazon rainforest and watched penguins waddling on icebergs in Antarctica. They stood beside me on the Great Wall of China and posed for silly photos on the Bolivian salt flats. My parents completed their mission of visiting every capital city in Europe last year, which my mum wrote about on her blog: https://littlecitysparrowblog.wordpress.com/. I admire my parents and am inspired by them in equal measure.

Marilyn loved the arts. She was an avid theatre-goer, who supported West End theatres and small local ones. When I was a teenager, she patiently hung around stage doors with me after performances, waiting for the cast to come out and sign autographs. She adored books and we were constantly sharing recommendations. Almost every room in our house has bookshelves full of her favourite books. She studied English Literature at the University of Sussex. She was an active member of a book club and enjoyed exchanging opinions and ideas. She and my dad loved going to the cinema, art galleries and museums. She was creative in different ways; she had her travel blog, wrote her own childhood memoirs, sang in a choir, went to art classes and played the saxophone.

Marilyn was so generous with her time and energy. She loved to help people, especially with financial and legal matters. She was a treasure trove of knowledge and my go-to person for advice and support about everything from investments to my love life, from career changes to dodgy landlords trying to keep hold on my deposits. She had a varied career, working for a newspaper, Thomson Holidays and numerous advertising agencies before training as a legal executive in the 1990s. She was the Executive Director at Barnet Law Service, which provides free legal advice on immigration, asylum, and housing law. She was a magistrate and a school governor. She believed in fairness, equality, and justice. She was tolerant, open-minded and accepting of those different from her.

Marilyn loved food - both the cooking and eating aspects! My childhood memories are full of home cooked meals and we loved dining out as a family. She joined Weight Watchers when I was a teenager and transformed herself physically. She started cooking healthier meals for the family which were just as delicious. Still, we all have our indulgences and some of hers were pasta, seafood, red wine and gin! She loved planning and hosting dinner parties and owned dozens of cookbooks. After trying each recipe, she carefully annotated the page with her own comments and corrections. Christmas was her favourite time of year and she had mastered the Christmas roast, using her own critiques and notes from previous years to ensure the turkey – and all the trimmings - were cooked to perfection.

Marilyn was all of the above and so much more. My father, sister and I are so grateful and blessed to have had her in our lives. She was my favourite person in the world and although I am heartbroken to be without her, I know she will live on in our hearts, thoughts, memories and actions. In the wisdom she imparted to her daughters and the lessons she taught us. I will carry her with me in my heart wherever I go. I will follow her example by loving deeply, finding the beauty in both the magnificent and mundane and living a full life. A life full of love, laughter, joy and adventure.