Thinking of you all today

Christmas 2021 approaches... The second without my mum. I begin the task of planning the meals that me, my dad, sister and my family will enjoy. The traditions that Marilyn put in place live on; we'll always have a brunch with smoked salmon, bagels, bacon, avocado, croissants etc. We'll always have delicious nibbles for an evening buffet, mostly from M&S. Last year I was 8 months pregnant so this year I'll be more than making up for it by raising several toasts to Marilyn! Christmas brings her to the forefront of my mind, even more than usual (is that even possible?). I still feel lingering anger that she won't see Owen open his presents and she won't see Alice celebrating her first Christmas. But I know we will reminisce and remember. Marilyn will always be here with us. The love doesn't fade but burns stronger than ever.

Here we are in December 2021…pandemic still impacting the world and I’m bedridden after a double bunionectomy and still missing Marilyn, my dear cousin. Her advice was very important to me as I navigated moving to England from Canada and took up a teaching position. Her invitations to wonderful family Christmas’ with Stephen, Isie and Olivia were much anticipated and enjoyed. She had such sparkle and zest! She explained her always successful method of receiving satisfaction and monetary reimbursement from insurance companies and the like when they made mistakes. I have passed this on to friends and family here in Canada and it is known as the “Marilyn Method”. So, we will toast Marilyn this Christmas and send our love to her and her darling family in England. Xo. Love, Jenn.

Marilyn's travel blog Many of you knew that Marilyn was a passionate world traveller, but not everyone has had the chance to read about her experiences and adventures. She had a travel blog - https://littlecitysparrowblog.wordpress.com/ - where she documented her mission to visit every capital city in Europe with her husband, Stephen. I hope you enjoy reading it, Isobel (her younger daughter)

It has been over three months since Marilyn died. It still feels unbelievable that she is really gone, that her life was cut short so abruptly and that she could be taken from her loved ones so suddenly. It is really hard to fathom that it is forever. We grieve. We wish we could call her, hear her voice, hug her, talk to her and hear that mischievous giggle of hers. We wish we could spend time with her, sit beside her, listening to her stories, eating her delicious food and sharing a bottle of wine with her. It is so cruel and unfair that we can never do those things again. Instead, we remember her, we talk about her, we cry, we mourn, we look at photographs, we watch videos of her, we think about our shared times together and we smile fondly when we remember what a wonderful woman she was, a force of nature, a loyal friend, a true partner, a loving mother and a role model in countless ways. Thank you for sharing photographs and memories on this website. They bring us so much comfort. They remind us of the impact that Marilyn had, how many lives she touched, how many people cared for her and how much she will be missed. I am so proud to call her my mother, I love her so much and it is heart-warming to see how many people love her too. Please continue to share photos and stories. We will do the same, and Marilyn will continue to be with us, in our memories, our thoughts and our hearts. Thank you Isobel (her younger daughter)

Marilyn, As one of our favourite museums, The Fashion and Textile Museum, re-opens after lockdown, I shed a tear that we will never visit it again together

Marilyn was a dear cousin, who inspired me with her outlook on life, her love of family, her organization, her sense of fun, her fashion sense, interest and knowledge of visual art and film, and her skill at cooking. She and Stephen were so kind to Brian and I, including us in the family fun over several wonderful Christmas times. Dearly loved and missed. xoxox

Friend, colleague, fount of all knowledge, top organiser of all time, no words can fully sum up the incredible person that was Marilyn. We met nearly 34 years ago when our girls first went to playgroup. With a small group of like-minded mums we formed the ‘committee’, a bond that was to keep us all close friends over the years that followed. Marilyn was immediately made rota secretary as she was obviously much more organised than the rest of us and also had that certain air of authority when carrying out the unenviable task of insisting people did their stint. Marilyn was never faint hearted and was a shining example to us all of how to be fully committed and positive in all areas of life. I will dearly miss those catch up sessions when we could put north London and the world to rights over a glass or two of wine. Kath

What a fabulous laugh! Always so lovely to hear and fond memories of it reverberating in the back garden at our summer party. John and Carole.

Although we only met Marylin a few years ago, we feel fortunate to have experienced her warm hospitality, and listen to the many humerous anecdotes of her travels around the world with Stephen. She certainly lived life to the full. Sharon and Phil

I first met Marilyn in 1970, in the living room of the Cottage in Brighton. Fortunately, her discerning eye and selection procedure enabled me to pass the audition and date Allyson, one of the other internees at the Cottage. Close on 50 years later, and married to Allyson, Marilyn has remained a brilliant friend, confidante and holiday buddy for us. I will miss her valued opinions, cheerful nature, boundless enthusiasm and unbridled sense of humour, all accompanied by a G and T. With love Mick xxxx

Our story began in 1969 and it will never end because Marilyn will always be with me, especially when I am in the garden taking photos of brightly coloured, or stunning as she would say, flowers- roses, irises peonies. Pictures that we shared in the last few months of her life.

In a few quiet but forceful words by the stock cupboard at Coleridge Primary School, Marilyn helped shape 20 years of my life. Her wise counsel propelled to me to apply for the headship of the school and defined my path ahead and for many of those years she was there beside me. Always supportive, warm, funny, and a force to be reckoned with she epitomised all that life could and should be. Her time as chair of governors at Coleridge was inspiring, resolute and always supportive of staff and parents. There is a quote that could have been written specifically for Marilyn: “She didn’t know it couldn’t be done, so she went ahead and did it.” Thank you Marilyn. Shirley Boffey, Crouch End.

I will always remember Marilyn’s kindness to me both as a child and an adult. She organised my first ever work experience when I was fifteen years old. She looked after me and ensured I had the opportunity to learn. Over the following years I always enjoyed talking with her and will remember her with much affection. Adele

This time just over a year ago, I was at Glastonbury festival. My wonderful parents had Owen for the weekend- my mum loved being a Granny so much- even if it meant 5.30am wake ups with my little boy! Whilst we were there, we watched The Killers headline the Pyramid stage and their lead singer, Brandon Flowers, spoke of his mum: “We’re a long way from home tonight. But you know, home isn’t always a place. Home is a person. Looking back at my childhood home was my mother. And her light went out too soon. There isn’t a grave deep enough, there isn’t a grave dark enough to keep her light out of my life,”. Little did I know, on that baking hot Saturday night in June, that less than a year later, my own mum's light would also have gone out. Love you Ma x

For us, two significant bequests left by Marilyn have been her contribution to the life of our old friend Stephen and her wonderful blog. Stephen's curiosity, eccentricity, wit and warm devotion to his family have flourished and we hope that his devastating loss will be caressed by his inspiring memories of her. We will continue to use Marilyn's blog as a reference and think of her when we do. And we will also read it for its literary merit, being entertained especially by such gems as: 'In principle we didn't eat puffin'; 'We used to buy cat food in every city we visited....A Spaniard will expect more tomatoes in his cat food than a German buyer'; and 'To catch a bus in Albania required the name of the driver and where he lived'. Thank you, Marilyn. Your care and your creativity endure. Warwick and Jackie

From the outside, Marilyn may have seemed rather traditional, with her two children and decades-long marriage, but she was strong-willed, daring and marched to the beat of her own drum. She demonstrated that you don't need to compromise: you can have a loving family, challenging career, variety of hobbies and active social life at the same time. When I told her I wanted to become a teacher, she supported me. When I announced I wanted to live abroad, she encouraged me, spending lots of time with my boyfriend Ian and me in Rome and cramming four visits to Hamburg in the space of two years (probably some kind of tourism World Record for Hamburg). When I told her I wanted to quit my job, give up my apartment and go backpacking around Asia for six months, she was so excited for me. She never once made me doubt or question myself or my choices. She loved looking at mine and Ian's photos from our holiday and hearing about our stories and adventures. My mother was inspirational yet so relatable, accessible and approachable. I hope I can remember and implement all the lessons she taught me - to be true to myself, to be determined, to be brave, to be kind - as I try to navigate life without her. By Isobel, her younger daughter.

Sometimes it is hard to find the words, but this poem goes some way to explaining my thoughts: A mother is more than a memory. She is a living presence. Your mother is always with you. She is the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she is the smell of certain foods you remember, perfumes that she wore, she is the cool hand on your brow when you are not feeling well, she is the breath in the air on a cold winter’s day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep; the colours of the rainbow, she is Christmas morning. Your mother lives inside your laughter, and she is crystallised in every tear drop. A mother shows every emotion… happiness, sadness, fear, love, excitement, joy, sorrow… and all the while, hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life. She is the place you come from, your first home, and she is the map you follow with every step you take. She is your first love, your first friend, and nothing on earth can separate you, not time, not space, not even death. (Author unknown)

We hope that you find this tribute to Marilyn a place of comfort, support and inspiration for you to visit whenever you want or need to.